Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Napping House

Be forewarned, this post was inspired after my darling Will decided naps are overrated the other day.  He is a notorious offender of napping for brief bursts of 20 minutes or so, a tease to get me thinking I can accomplish something!

Anyone out there with kids should be familiar with this little gem:

If you're not, you need to check it out, despite the tirade I'm about to unleash in reference to this work of literary FICTION. Your kiddos will love it, it's hilarious and the illustrations are perfect!

In this story, if you can imagine, there is a whole lot of napping going on at granny's house.  Granny, tired I'm sure from chasing around a child and all her various animal sidekicks, decides to take a nap.  Long story short, so does everyone else and Granny ends up at the bottom of the heap of the mother of all pig piles, all happily snoozing the rainy day away.  The child piles on top of her, then the dog, the cat, a mouse, and finally, a tiny little flea who later causes a whole lot of mayhem. Welcome to the Napping House, where everyone is sleeping.

Well, I'm hear to let you in on a little secret.  
Come closer...
a littler closer (indicating this with finger twitch)
Get ready for it...

I'm here to tell the world that The Napping House 

Sorry Audrey Wood, 
but this whole "Napping House" nonsense is crap! 

It's a fairy tale, a unicorn, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! 

No one let me in on this little kernel of truth before I had William, so I had this beautiful, rose-colored, sun-drenched image in my mind's eye (accompanied by a soundtrack of acoustic guitar or perhaps a babbling brook) of a peaceful sleeping baby taking regular hour + long naps morning and afternoon, waking with a smile and a hug, ready to snuggle and listen to stories.  

Side note: In this fantasy, the laundry was washed & folded AND put away (gasp!), I could leisurely fit in a daily work-out, and dinner was served with a smile... getting the idea about just how fantastical this fantasy really is?

Well, I kinda want to scream at The Napping House for perpetuating a cruel and vicious myth that torments us stay-at-home moms who think they can just maybe fold some laundry, possibly shave their legs (hell it's winter, why bother anyway?) in a shower that doesn't consist of 5 quick minutes of shampoo/peek-a-boo with a baby growing restless fast in their baby glider, sidled right up next to the shower.  Make-up, ha! Try smearing on some lip gloss when the opportunity presents itself!  

Oh, what's that you say? Your baby sleeps for hours in the morning and afternoon... 
I would provide a witty come back or a very serious threat veiled in humor, but YAWN... I'm simply too tired from living in the Playing House, where everyone is playing and rarely, barely, sometimes although hardly-ever sleeping...


Lies, all lies!

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